Monday, August 24, 2009

Not Me! Monday

I know everyone else is joining MckMama in a "Not My Child! Monday", but I figured since every story I have to "not" tell on my child this week is my fault, I better stick w/ the Not Me! Monday...

I most certainly do not have a precious 10 month old son now because if that was the case, that would mean I have neglected my poor lil' blog for over a month... Surely not, Not Me!

And, I most certainly did not take that 10 month old to a wedding this past Saturday because my parents were going and JB was out of town so there were no sitters available. I would not wake my son up from his nap to go to a wedding, nope, Not Me! And, even if I was dumb enough to do so, I wouldn't sit towards the front and look at him with pride because he had fallen back asleep right before the ceremony started. And the bride will not forever be stuck with the memory of my precious child, on video forever, screaming to the top of his lungs because he suddenly woke up and decided he wanted to nurse as the pastor (same one who did my wedding!) tried to start her ceremony. I was not that mother at the wedding, Not Me!

To boot, my child- at only a few weeks old- did not have his first diaper accident on the mother of the above mentioned bride when we took him to his first baby shower, nope, Not Mine! Wow, do we owe this family...

Sunday, after the wedding when I asked mom if she was embarrassed by Harper's behavior, my own son's grandmother definitely did not reply, "Yes, mortified, let's not talk about it, try to forget!" We wouldn't be that embarrassed, nope, Not Us!

I did not agree to work every afternoon this week while JB is out of town. And, even if I had agreed to do so, I wouldn't have spent the whole afternoon w/ wonderful patients missing my precious little boy, wondering how working moms do it everyday. Nope, Not Me!

Finally, this will make you glad I went to work today and left someone else in charge of Harper... I did not win the "Worst Mom of the Year" award this past weekend by loosing Harper, nope, Not Me! I mean, I know he is fast and can go places quickly and get into anything he wants to these days. So, I would never let him out of my site, nope, Not Me! And, I certainly didn't find him in the garage (on his way out) when I had left him in the living room to play while I grabbed some clothes from my room. I wouldn't have an infant in a house with the door and the garage door open because our AC was out, Not Me! Surely I would watch him closely if I was doing something so dumb. I wouldn't turn to my mom in a panic when I saw no sign of him in the living room and ask, "Where is Harper?!" And, when we frantically went searching to find him in the garage eating insulation, probably on his way to the road, mom wouldn't reply, "Do not tell JB about this, you'll never hear the end of it!" And, I most certainly wouldn't blog about it. Nope, Not Me!

Happy Monday, hop on over to MckMama's blog and join the fun!

5 comments:

Heather said...

That was even funnier the second time . . . so glad you blogged it!

Denise Lauren said...

Cindy --

Was the diaper incident at my shower? I remember an incident happening but can't remember who it happened to. Who got married? Thanks for being so open and honest on the "Not me!" blogs ... they are so funny. They make me feel like there are other moms out there who have similar challenges to me!

Denise

Grace B said...

You make me laugh so hard. Thanks for sharing.

feltsdia said...

Want you to know, NO ONE who has children thought ANYTHING about you having to leave the ceremony! We've all been there, done that! GB is just being silly! As far as losing Harper, mine are 8 and 5 and are still lost occasionally!

Melissa Neece said...

hmmm, sounds like once when i was babysitting - I left a 15 month old strapped in his stroller with the garage door open and ran back in to get his water. as i was running back out, he was running towards the road, and some junior highers walking along managed to catch him. needless to say, never left a child unattended again with the garage door open. sigh.